Mornings....

[Jennifer Wilkinson]

Does anyone have any tricks to get there morning running smoother. Our mornings are not fun at all and usually ends in several meltdowns and I hate having Ashley start her day that way. Not to mention mine. I let her help picking out her clothes ..... doesn't always help. I just can't wait until summer flipflops and bathing suits!

[Diane Wieland]

I may have heard this on this site, but it has helped with my six-year-old, and would really be great for all kids. You can make (or buy--there's a great one from Melissa and Doug I got at a consignment shop) a chart for the morning and the evening that has each activity the child needs to do e.g. get dressed. brush teeth, eat breakfast, etc.

Then you set everything up for her if she's younger: set out clothes, put toothpaste on brush, set up breakfast and ---here's the trick part--LEAVE HER ALONE! That's hard, and it takes lots of reminding myself. All you have to ask her then is, "Is everything done on your morning responsibility chart?" rather than repeated telling her to brush her teeth, get dressed, etc. You might have to get up early the first week. But I found my son does his morning routine much faster if he doesn't get overloaded in the morning with my constant reminders.

They love giving themselves rewards. The Melissa and Doug chart has magnets with flowers, trophies, etc. We have one set of responsibilities for morning and one for night--since he is older we even have simple chores and saturday chores. We also tied the chores to allowance--which he loves, too.

Here's a link to the chart. http://www.melissaanddoug.com/dyn_prod.php?p=3789&utm_source=Go...

You could even use it for social skills b/c it has manners, caring, etc. activities. Not too much at once, though. I would start with night time since they are not so hectic (laying out school clothes at night), then add morning routines in a week or two.

Another small thing that might help is one of those hanging clothes organizers that lets you pick out clothes for the whole week and stack them on this hanger for each day. Here's a link to one. I still need to do this. http://www.spacesavers.com/we.html?utm_source=GoogleProducts&ut...

Good luck. This morning was tough at my house b/c my son's engine is running low in the morning. I tried to get him to jump on the mini tramp that is permanently set up in the living room, but he wasn't having it.

[Jennifer Wilkinson]

Thank you SOO much I will look into that. I think it would work really well for her because she does not like orders all morning long. I was thinking about getting a mini trap. is it a good investment? I let her jump on the couch this morning (we are new to the whole SPD thing - 1 month in)

[Diane Wieland]

I had this mini tramp in the garage for years, but they are all over the place in used sports equipment stores. We've gone through two, $3 Bop Bags (Wal-mart), too. My son has the need for deep sensory input in his tummy and hands. Next, I'm going for the $11.99 Target Balance Ball in the exercise equipment isle. Target also has bolsters in that isle, which help if they need that feedback--they can just lay on it on their tummies and roll around, they are just not quite big enough for my son. Lots of the outdoor toys at target are great for Sensory sensitive kids--tunnels, inflatables, etc. Not expensive like therapy supplies.

Meijer has ball pit balls in a pretty big bag for $9.99, I plan to get some an put them in a box or something.

I did find this web site with great prices, though. http://www.protherapysupplies.com/pd_dutchman_roll.cfm
Just need to ask your OT what the best size for her weight.

Isn't it amazing how the SPD answers all those mysterious questions about your child? It did for us anyway. Did you read Your Sensory Sensitive Child? The author outlines all the misdiagnoses kids get instead of SPD--I swear we went through all of that.

[Jennifer Wilkinson]

Yes!! Ashley was born with a cleft lip and palate and never slept cried a lot and was a very high need baby and I put much of this on not being able to eat well - which didn't make since when she did start eating well. At the end of January I knew there was something other than Ashley being a "bad child" because she wasn't most of the time but when she was off she was WAY off and I knew there had to be answers out there. So instead of going to my pedi who would have put it off as "norma" I researched on my own and when I started reading the info on SPD it was like a HUGE light bulb went off and I knew that was Ashley so I had her tested and we started OT last week. I'm still having problems getting over the meltdowns they take so much out of you plus I hate not being able to just fix it! With her cleft we had surgery with her allergies we stopped all milk products with this I'm at a lose and feel so out of control!!
Thank you for the links!!!

[Diane Wieland]

Please email me if you like. We have only been diagnosed and in OT for about 4 months, but we've been struggling with this for about 3 years and lots of bad advice.
You don't say how old Ashley is, but our meltdowns much improved around age 4, and it had a lot to do with me taking my emotions out of the situations. I was fraught with anxiety all the time about "why is he acting like this." "he's so sweet at home, why can't we go places." "Does he just hate me?' "He's my third, am I just a bad mom?" "People sure look at me like I am." The whole thing! And so I know it was adding to his anxiety.

When he was about three we started using 1-2-3 timeout method of discipline. It was recommended by a therapist and our Ped, and it worked. It gives them the chance to change what they are doing before emotions get out of control. It also gives them power over their actions. Now for sensory kids, this is more difficult, but anything to give them power is good.

Then we started giving 5-4-3-2-1 countdowns when he needs to stop doing something and do something else--like come to breakfast, etc. They are not angry warnings, but ways to prepare to move to the next activity. If we are making a large change such as leaving a store, swimming pool, or something he is really engaged in, I start with a 5 minute countdown (15 when he was younger), then let him know when it's 3 minutes, then one minute. Then times up. The first few times I did this, it worked like a miracle. Now he knows exactly how much time 5 minutes is and pretty much complies.
The best thing about these--often very bright kids--is that they figure things out themselves so much. Pretty soon you will know which restaurants to avoid, what activities soothe her, what places stink that drive her crazy, etc. And the emotions will quiet. My son yesterday was preparing to go somewhere he know would be loud and long--the pinewood derby.
He was getting anxious and finally said "I'm going outside." And he spent time loading up a lawn card with his outdoor furniture and hauling it around the backyard. Heavy lifting is a calming device that lots of OTs recommend.

He just knows, and she will too. She probably already does.
Read How fast Does your Engine Run, too. It will give you some tips and explains why some things work and some don't.

I wish you all the blessings and luck on this you deserve, I'm sure Ashley is a smart, special, wonderful little girl, and this will get better for you both. I am just happy you got the right diagnosis. Bless you both.
Diane

Congratulations on seeking out the right diagnosis for your daughter. Mom's like you are awesome!

[Shelly Just]

You are spot on! Wow, I am so thrilled to see that I am not as retentive and obesessive as I had once feared. Being prepared is the whole name of the game when it comes to these kids. I have the closet organizers, the shoe holders, everything is set out the night before, there is a place for any and all things Katy and we don't divert from the tried and true plan. If we do it all falls apart. You have to be three steps ahead, always.

Golly I'm glad I found this site! Haha! Now I have to show this thread to some friends and family members who give me funny looks when it's 8pm and Katy's still not bathed and ready for bed with all of her school stuff ready for the next day and I'm dashing around like a mad woman. In a typical world getting off track is inconvenient. In an ASD world it's catastrophe.

[Moira]

I posted this suggestion as a reply to another post about meltdowns as well.

This is a way to problem solve with kids that have lots of meltdowns to help the child come up with strategies to deal with the difficult situation better. It has also helped us in understanding our child's mind much better than ever before (he's ten). This is going to be a bit different than most other methods out there. It takes some work but it really does help things improve significantly.

http://www.thinkkids.org/parents/

There are a couple of books and a dvd out explaining it too:
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-the-Explosive-Child/dp/B0006GSB2C/r...
http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Explosive-Kids-Collaborative-Problem...

[Jodi Quinn]

We pick out our clothes the night before but this does not always help. My daugher is much more sensitive in the morning and her feet are the most sensitive - so we put her new socks on the night before and this has made a huge difference. I have even let her sleep in her clothes for the next day through the night and then she does not have to change in the morning. If they are cotton clothes, they don't wrinkle.

[Marisa]

Good afternoon Jennifer!
I see this post was from March 2009. In the last few months have you found any tricks that work well for you? Our mornings with my 7 year old daughter sound like just what you describe. All her clothing from her underwear, socks, shirts etc get stretched until seams pop. We have probably gone through 60 pairs of undies and lots of shirts and short in the last 2 months because they become holey and inappropriate to wear in public. It does not help to pick them out the night before or do a chart. What matters is the morning - they are the worst - everything changes. She won't sleep in her clothing (I read that trick) she sleeps just in underwear because she can't stand the feeling of blankets lying on her clothing and then the clothing on her skin. I let her buy her clothing several sizes too big. (she is size 6, I buy her 8-10s) She still stretches them. I have wrapped her up tightly in a blanket, tried warm showers etc...before dressing. We have only had 1 appt with an OT - our next scheduled soon - but in the meantime wondered if anyone had any other tricks. Thanks and may your mornings be free of tears this week! :)