Autism and Frustration
Have you ever had something you wanted to do that you could see in your mind but just couldn't get to come out that way? I think we all have this problem sometimes. I recently realized that my son has one, his handwriting.
Asperger's folks are not known for good handwriting, quite the opposite. My own handwriting is pitiful and I admit it. As an artist I sometimes have a picture in my mind and have trouble translating it to paper. It's very frustrating when that happens. I sometimes have to walk away for the moment and try later.
My son is having trouble controlling his handwriting and it upsets him very much. He gets angry with himself and goes to near meltdown capacity. His letters are currently too big to fit in spaces and he runs out of room for even small words. He has some of the same trouble with numbers.
Computers are a good source for him and he likes them very much, but he still needs to practice writing so that he can get himself caught up on the skill. I know it’s not just sloppy or lazy handwriting because of how much it upsets him. He can see what he needs to write in his mind, but his hand doesn’t want to cooperate.
I believe that these frustrations must be common in high functioning autistics. Just like our trouble with social skills that frustrate us. We want to socialize like everyone else but it just won’t come out that way. We find ourselves feeling “stupid” and “clumsy”. The message I want to deliver is in my mind and the emotion I want to convey (in person) is there too. It just doesn’t come out the way I intend.
So when I write these blogs, my condition gets masked. I am better at written communication than at in person communication. I can still mess up context though. Can the same frustrations occur for us in other activities. You bet it can. I once saw a man stuck with a lower functioning condition, trying to get his hand to grasp a fork. An assistant tried to work with him, but the attempts angered him to no end. I would feel the same way. How would you feel if you couldn’t use a simple fork? He wasn’t retarded, he knew what he needed to do, he just couldn’t make his body do it.
That is what autism does to everyone it affects in some degree or some way. I think the toughest part is being aware of it.
Asperger's folks are not known for good handwriting, quite the opposite. My own handwriting is pitiful and I admit it. As an artist I sometimes have a picture in my mind and have trouble translating it to paper. It's very frustrating when that happens. I sometimes have to walk away for the moment and try later.
My son is having trouble controlling his handwriting and it upsets him very much. He gets angry with himself and goes to near meltdown capacity. His letters are currently too big to fit in spaces and he runs out of room for even small words. He has some of the same trouble with numbers.
Computers are a good source for him and he likes them very much, but he still needs to practice writing so that he can get himself caught up on the skill. I know it’s not just sloppy or lazy handwriting because of how much it upsets him. He can see what he needs to write in his mind, but his hand doesn’t want to cooperate.
I believe that these frustrations must be common in high functioning autistics. Just like our trouble with social skills that frustrate us. We want to socialize like everyone else but it just won’t come out that way. We find ourselves feeling “stupid” and “clumsy”. The message I want to deliver is in my mind and the emotion I want to convey (in person) is there too. It just doesn’t come out the way I intend.
So when I write these blogs, my condition gets masked. I am better at written communication than at in person communication. I can still mess up context though. Can the same frustrations occur for us in other activities. You bet it can. I once saw a man stuck with a lower functioning condition, trying to get his hand to grasp a fork. An assistant tried to work with him, but the attempts angered him to no end. I would feel the same way. How would you feel if you couldn’t use a simple fork? He wasn’t retarded, he knew what he needed to do, he just couldn’t make his body do it.
That is what autism does to everyone it affects in some degree or some way. I think the toughest part is being aware of it.
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